Madonna's Early Burial

Don’t you feel bad for Madonna? Every chance she could’ve had to make a comeback has been jacked by @ladygaga. Madonna never had anything but #shockvalue anyway - #realtalk.

As Shakespeare said, All the world’s a stage; and, for @ladygaga, All the other men and women merely players.



What is impressive about @ladygaga is that she has a message to her madness.

Even while dressed as a Precious Moments child. Or Xena: Future Warrior Princess. Or the fetus of a dead cat.

Maybe The Haus of Gaga should just be a costume shop. With this type of promotion, she could be the number one stop on Halloween.



Aren't you glad that there's visual proof to the fact that @ladygaga doesn't have a dick. At least, currently. Post-op is a difficult time to go through. I'm sure that female Fonz is making it better, though.

A sexually active video with promotions from @virginmobile. That's ironic. Alanis Morissette's song isn't.

Where #badromance alluded slightly to Madonna in its fiery ending, there are several references in #telephone that suggest that @ladygaga may just be Madonna’s illegitimate child. Let's get Maury so we can find out who the baby-daddy is.

Meanwhile, Madonna never got Beyoncé to be her bitch. Yes, I said. #beyonceisgagasbitch. It’s like watching #moderndayslavery.



#alejandro is like a greatest hits video tribute to Madonna. I'm not even sure if @ladygaga was in the video, to be honest.

Army men in heels. Rosary-gagging. A bra strapped with rifles. @ladygaga naked. #weveseenitbefore.

Maybe that’s because what Madonna did then isn’t as shocking now. And maybe this video shows that we’re too worried about #shockvalue to receive the message that she’s trying to send us.

@ladygaga – #pass

People Shakira Can Relate To

@shakira never ceases to look like a tool. However, in this instance, it’s clear that she’s only selling herself out for the children:



@shakira was gettin’ it with the Africans over that internationally chill beat.

Congratulations! @shakira finally found someone the same size as she is – the children.

@shakira #wakawaka – #pass

OMG, Usher Has Cajones

@usherraymondiv has been steadily making up for the video for #heydaddy and #omg is definitely a step in the right direction:



@usherraymondiv still looks like a miniature version of a man surrounded by all these #grownasswomen. They’re like the Black counterparts to Benny Benassi’s #grownasswomen.

And why does he insist on saying oh my gosh? He just became an even more miniature version of a man. I hope this isn’t a reflection of his miniature man.

@usherraymondiv #omg – #minipass